Joe Watson! 18! Incredible!
For many reasons obviously Joe’s birthday is a bit different from many
of the ones we have had in the past.
We’re not on holiday for a start. Usually Cher and Rich would get up
early to put the banners up and blow up the balloons. There was no sign of them on Friday
morning. I had to do it.
Anyway I just want to say a few words to mark Joe’s coming of age,
18. Who would have thought it?
What can I say about our Joe?
When he was younger he was a typical boy. Played football, collected snails and kept
them in his school trousers, tricked me into eating his earwax. But now he’s….
A tall handsome young man.
My lovely boy! Our lovely boy! Our little Jim Bob! Our Joe “two dogs” Watson - Rich will explain that one later
When you look at this fine young man what do you see?
·
I have already said Handsome
·
Quiet and reserved
·
Happy, considerate
·
The Apple of his mothers eye
·
How he’s matured and changed
Well. I’m not so sure. What you see is not always what you get!
I guess the first thing any of else who have known Joe from an
early age will know is how he’s changed over the years. He was just a little blob really. You would sit him down in one spot and he
would be in the same place hours later.
He just wouldn’t moved. In fact
when you think about it he really hasn’t changed that much at all. He enters his bedroom and he doesn’t
move. For days!
He is the “apple of his mother’s eye”. Caroline and Joe had a special bond sharing a
lot of the same interests especially music.
He also has her gentle and kind manner.
Hmmm! Not the apple of his
mother ’s eye when she was to me crying down the
phone one day whilst I was at work.
Caroline had disturbed Joe’s sleep one afternoon in order to pick
Georgina up from Baileys Court Junior School.
Joe never liked to be awoken but this afternoon he had a real
tantrum. Joe screamed and stamped his
feet all the way to Baileys Court School.
Caroline just walked ahead leaving Joe to follow a fair distance behind
her. When Caroline reached the school
she stood with her friends waiting for Georgina to come out to the playground and
complaining about Joe’s behavior. All of
sudden she heard a loud shriek across the playground from another mother.
“He’s just bit me!!!!”
Caroline instantly realized what had happened. Joe had mistaken the woman as his mother and
had sunk his teeth into her jeans. Caroline was horrified and so
embarrassed. Caroline just couldn’t
apologise to the lady enough. The woman
was fine as luckily the woman had her house keys in her pocket and Joe had
bitten into them. Caroline was so
ashamed and upset. Oh my god she was upset.
Joe has now moved on from these antics. In fact he has changed beyond all recognition
over the years especially in appearance.
When he was younger he was quite short and dumpy. Now he is now so tall. Joe must be six foot three inches, which is really
quite unbelievable.
The one feature that has changed most for me though is Joe’s
hairstyle.
When he was at nursery and junior school he had a lovely little
boys haircut
Then Joe grew his hair longer.
The mothers and the girls loved this style.
“He looks so cute”.
Actually many of his younger cousins and friends copied his
hairstyle. He looked really cool.
However, Joe’s styles have not always been a huge success:
Joe. What was going through
your mind with this?
And this…?
On a more serious note I
don’t know about you but I am a great believer in leaving a legacy. I keep telling my kids that no matter what
they do in life, do it well, “make a difference”. Be creative.
Don’t be afraid to start something and see where it goes.
Joe has done this. I’m not
sure he knows he’s done it but Joe has started a global phenomenon. However, I’m not sure he will get the credit he
deserves for creating the global phenomenon.
History is littered with people whose ideas were stolen allowing others
to take the glory. The important thing
for me is I know Joe originated it. The
global phenomenon is actually in Wikipedia.
On an aside Joe was actually in Wikipedia once. Joe deleted the name of the Papua New Guinea
football team manager and inserted his own!
The phenomenon is called “photo bombing”. Wikipedia defines “photo bombing” as:
the act of inserting oneself into the field of view of a photograph,
often in order to play a practical joke on the
photographer or the subject. It is thought to have started in 2009.
2009! Joe has been “photo bombing” since 2005 when
he was aged 10. It is Joe’s phenomenon.
On so many occasions Caroline and I
would be set up for a beautiful photograph in a lovely romantic setting or on a
beach or somewhere. As soon as the finger was on the shutter button Joe would
pop out of nowhere and put himself into the middle of the photo. Every single time
So many times Caroline and I would
say “that would have been a lovely photograph…but for Joe”.
In fact only yesterday he wanted to
“photo bomb” someone’s shot. He seen a lady
taking a photograph of her three little girls and Joe actually said to me “lets
get in it”
Obviously all that I have said tonight is just a bit of fun. Joe has been a huge credit to Caroline and
me. I will always remember the day he was born.
Caroline was so pleased to have given birth to a baby boy.
We are both so proud of him.
We’ve seen a few photos of Caroline tonight with Joe, which bring back
some strong memories of how close Caroline and Joe were. Are.
Believe me when I say Caroline will never be far away from her little
boy. Guiding him and she will always be
there to listen to you mate!
You have a very supportive and loving family. You have some wonderful friends. Who will ever forget “Triolodgy”. Luis and
Theo have almost become part of our family.
Fingers crossed you will be starting Falmouth University to do your Film
degree in September. You should grasp
this opportunity with both hands mate. Joe
you have a bright future in front of you.
With no further ado lets sing “Happy Birthday
The Zu Zu Men have kindly agreed to you being the lead singer for one
song. So with no further a do I am very
proud to introduce the Zu Zu Men featuring Joe “Two Dogs” Watson singing “All
night long”. Put your hands together
Thank you
Normally Bank Holiday weekends are a good thing. After all you don’t need to go to work. Well yes it is a good thing and most of us
like having an extra day at home, on holiday, out socializing. Anything but working. This is definitely the case except however,
when you’re on your own. Then the
extended weekend can be desperate.
The prospect of being alone this weekend was compounded for me by the
fact the kids were both away. Joe and
nine of his mates were off to the Shambala festival best described as a “hippy
fest” held somewhere in Northampton.
Whereas Georgina was a little bit more conventional and was off camping
in Woolacombe, North Devon. Therefore this
weekend was definitely going to be home alone.
In addition, so many friends were going to be on holiday over this
weekend. In fact this is the first time
in years that I have not been on holiday with Caroline and the kids. Whether it was in Spain with Cher, Rich and
Matt, or in Gran Canaria or in Cyprus or wherever we were away for three weeks
at a time. We had a great time. Now it’s different.
You can either sit at home watching crap TV, counting the number of
floor tiles you have in each room, sorting your sock drawer out, talking to the
spiders and so on and so on. Or you can
get out there. My policy has been over
the past year is to call up family and friends and invite myself over to their
houses for a cuppa (for any overseas readers a “cuppa” is an English tradition
of having a cup of tea at any and every opportunity). So Teri and Steve got the call on Saturday,
which turned into an excellent evening consisting of a visit to the pub
followed by a curry. Not a cup of tea in
sight.
It was 5:30am and I’m screaming at Joe. In fairness he didn’t deserve to be screamed
at especially so early in the morning. I
had to be at Bristol Airport by 6:30am in order to fly to Glasgow and I have
just realized I can’t find my wallet. I turned
the house upside down and still couldn’t find it. Then it dawned on me that I may have somehow
left it in the Bocabar where we held Joe’s 18th party. I had absolutely nothing. No cash, no credit cards, no debit cards,
nothing. My plan now was to borrow £100
from Joe’s “birthday money” and sort the remaining cost of the holiday with my
brother Andrew when I arrived in Glasgow .
However, Joe was in a semi-conscious zombie state and his responses to
my question “Joe I want to borrow some money. Where have you kept it?” were
just utter nonsense leaving me very frustrated.
Hence, the screaming! In the end I gave up and just drove to Bristol
Airport in the hope I didn’t need any money and Andrew would fund me.
· The islands are infamous for the amounts
of midges. Andrew got bitten about 20 times and Harry 6
times. Claire and I had 0 bites thanks to good use of the repellent
spray called “Smidge”
·
Happy, considerate
Caroline had disturbed Joe’s sleep one afternoon in order to pick
Georgina up from Baileys Court Junior School.
Joe never liked to be awoken but this afternoon he had a real
tantrum. Joe screamed and stamped his
feet all the way to Baileys Court School.
Caroline just walked ahead leaving Joe to follow a fair distance behind
her. When Caroline reached the school
she stood with her friends waiting for Georgina to come out to the playground and
complaining about Joe’s behavior. All of
sudden she heard a loud shriek across the playground from another mother.
2009! Joe has been “photo bombing” since 2005 when
he was aged 10. It is Joe’s phenomenon. 
In fact only yesterday he wanted to
“photo bomb” someone’s shot. He seen a lady
taking a photograph of her three little girls and Joe actually said to me “lets
get in it”
