No matter how well things are going
when those life events come up the old sub conscious takes over. There’s nothing I can do about it. My whole mood just takes a dive. I know I will be alright afterwards but it is
very emotionally draining. With the big “5
0” looming I just can’t help thinking what might have been.
50 was going to be the turning point
for Caroline and me. Both kids would
have been settled at Uni, I was going to take a lesser job to spend more time
with Caroline (in fact my current role would have been perfect); and we were
going to enjoy the fruits of our hard earned labour.
Even just a few years ago I never
envisage the situation I find myself in.
Just 10 years ago I look back to when I became 40: big surprise 70's fancy dress party (one of the
best nights ever); 40th Birthday in Las Vegas; best man on my 40th
Birthday to Neil who married Lucy in the Grand Canyon. It just doesn’t get much better. 10 years later life has changed out of all
recognition.
In addition some major parts of my
life aren’t moving as quickly as I want nor in the direction I want. It
feels as though every day I am putting a lot of effort in to moving forward but
at the moment it feels as though the wheels are just spinning.
Am I trying to move too quickly? Doing too much? Trying to please too many people? I don’t know.
Perhaps this is my life going forward.
Maybe I’m having a mid-life crisis –what another one?. Who knows?
I know from previous similar experiences that I need to take it easy for
the next week and let the emotion wash over me.
I am going to use the time to take
stock of where I am. I need to bring
things back into my own control.
Am I getting the best out of my
job? Could it be better and more
rewarding? Shall I move on the path of
world domination? Am I just too busy to
start a relationship? Could I do more to sell the house? Is the market growing quickly enough? My biggest problem is I am too
impatient. For the next week though I will
just have to go with the flow. Look
forward to my birthday celebrations. Not
get too stress. I will also find some
time to look back at the great memories of my time with Caroline.
I am determined though that I will
enjoy the 50th celebrations with my friends and family who have
supported me not only over the past three and half years but throughout my
life. I am not worried by being the age
50. Its the new 40 which is the new
black.
The official launch of my 50th
celebrations started last weekend in Dublin. A great weekend with Pete, Louise
and Phil who I have known since I was 15 when we started to play football
together (not Louise). I met Phil’s new
wife, Sara, for the first time. Lots of
memorable moments including being at Landsdowne Road for the Leinster v Munster
match. Plenty of Guinness as you would
expect. The one thing that really stood
out was that one of our party got dis-orientated on their way to the loo at 5am
after a very late and drunken evening. Instead
of ending up in the toilet found themself locked out of the room standing the
hotel corridor – NAKED. The person in
question had to be rescued by security.
Obviously, the person will remain nameless as what goes on tour stays on
tour. All I can say I can’t wait to meet
the person for the second time
Celebrations now move on to Cardiff
and Bristol over the next weekend:
11th – Cardiff
·
Meet at 7:30pm at the Park Plaza
·
Later Tiger Tiger
·
Enjoy
·
Bish Bash Bosh – Jobs a good un
12th - Bristol
·
Meet at around 7:30pm at The Piano & Pitcher
·
9:30pm Rainbow Casino
·
10pm Meal at Rainbow Casino
·
Enjoy
·
Bish Bash Bosh – the jobs a good un
I
have purchased 22 Groupon Tickets for the Rainbow Casino, Bristol: two course
meal, a drink and £5 of chips all for the princely sum of £10 each. Dinner
is booked at 10pm which is late but after a few drinks you will be glad of it. Please let me know if you would like one of
these vouchers – first come first served.
13th – Home
·
The
recovery position
14th - The Big Day
·
Open
house from 5:30pm until late – All welcome
On the whole life is moving on but
these big events will always bring flooding back all those memories, our hopes
and dreams. The lesson is live your life
now and don’t wait for tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment