Changes

Changes are on the way.  I have spent too long waiting for things to happen and not going with my own instinct.  My overall aim is to find some sort of happiness.  I know that this is going to be a different flavour to that I had with Caroline and will not be as intense.  However, some of the changes are not panning out as I had hoped. 

There are going to be a few bumps on the way.  I’m reaching a bitter-sweet point, like many parents, where the “little bundles of joy” are exiting their teens and are becoming more and more independent.  Georgina and Joe are reaching that point.

The month long back packing adventure in Thailand has boosted Georgina self-confidence tremendously.  When I look back only as recently as six months ago it’s as though I’m almost looking at two different people.  So organised, so driven not wanting to sit still for a second and so helpful.  Some would say “a miracle” when compared to Georgina early teenage years.

 

Whereas, with Joe its different.  I’m convinced I don’t see the real Joe.  He saves the real self for when he is with his friends.  However, I have seen glimmers of the maturing Joe.  I will treasure the moment seeing Joe looking so proud and pleased of himself when he moved into his student digs down in Falmouth.  Lately, I’m starting to see his determined character coming through and he is developing his own views.  Definitely maturing although he still needs to get off his backside.  Joe knows where he’s going.  One day he will let the rest of us know. 

So they’re both growing up.  Both of them will be back to Uni at the end of September to start their second year.  For me it’s more of a psychological and emotional move.  One way or another they’re not around much anyway as they’re with their friends.  It’s the way it should be.  However, I had that twist in my stomach that told me that this time it will be different.  Both of them will be making their own decisions and won’t want any of my insight, if they ever did.  I’m reaching a crossroad.  Whatever happened this was always going to be a time of change that would have been building over a number of years.  I remember years ago every time Caroline watched Mamma Mia she would cry her eyes out when the song "slipping through my fingers" was sang by Meryl Streep as it brought on thoughts of when the kids would be flying the nest.  However, Caroline and I would also talk about the new found freedom “when the kids have grown up”. I don’t suppose we were that different to many other families.

 

Recently I have taken some decisions which will hopefully breathe new energy into me and set me up for the future.  I needed to change direction in some aspects of my life that I thought were not taking me in the right direction.  A big one concerns my role with FD Centre.  I have decided to resign as their Regional Director but continue with them in a different capacity which allow me to do perform a wider variety of work.  I am grateful to them for taking a chance on me at a very difficult time and together we have had some successes.

I have now changed my estate agent in order to get more umphhh behind the selling my house.  There is no reason why my house hasn’t sold.  It’s a fantastic family house ideally set.  There’s no way I  would ever have chosen to move if circumstances were different.  I have decided to engage with the estate agent Edison Ford who have demonstrated to me a much more proactive approach than many other estate agents.  The approach is less down to chance.  Well!  We will see.

There is so much going on at the moment.  My biggest relief is that the kids are on a clear path and doing so well.  No matter what happens I will be around for them and there’s no doubt their mother will be guiding them.  The kids will still be around.  I guess that the Bank of Dad will have to remain open, that they will remain on the payroll for a couple of years and Chez Watson will require spare rooms.