Happy Birthday

The knot in my stomach is starting to twist.  For the past few weeks life has been ok and moving forward.   I have been at ease with the world.  I do know what’s starting to grip me.  Next weekend is another one of those family milestones. It’s my birthday.

Now anyone who knows me would tell you that normally I would unashamedly be reminding every person I bump into that my birthday was coming.  The reminders would typically start towards the end of January and last right through to April.  Once April arrived then it would seem that the celebrations would continue right through the month.  I loved it!

My 40^th birthday, some time ago now, stands out as one of the best time ever.  Caroline arranged a surprise 70’s fancy dress party.  I still to this day do not know how I was convinced to wear a white disco suit, purple shirt, afro wig and platform shoes that night.  Even for me this was not my normal Saturday going out outfit.  Somehow I guess Caroline convinced me it was a good idea.  Who knows? The party was fantastic and very memorable enjoyed by all that came.  To cap it all my actual 40^th was spent in Las Vegas.  Actually it was even better than that.  I was best man for Neil who married Lucy in the Grand Canyon.  Now not every birthday was as extravagant as my 40^th but they were certainly big occasions.

As you would expect I do have mixed feelings about celebrating my birthday this year.  Any family celebration or occasion is difficult to deal with.  No matter how much we enjoy ourselves there is always an “empty seat”.  I feel as though my family is incomplete.  In some ways I dread getting together.  I hope you understand.

I have tried to overcome these feelings by organizing the bike ride from Cardiff to Bristol in Caroline’s memory.  It gives the kids and me great comfort to know people are thinking of Caroline and that she’s still part of our lives.  Caroline is too special to let fade from our memories.

On the flip side Caroline did tell us “all” to get on with our lives.  So we have no choice.  We will enjoy ourselves.   We know we would be doing Caroline a big dis-service if we did anything else  It’s a great feeling to know that so many people have put themselves out next weekend to come to Bristol to support us.  Nine people will complete the bike ride and well over 60 people will be joining me Saturday evening. The turnout means so much to Georgina, Joe and me.  Thanks and lets enjoy!