Right On Time

Daily life flies by so quickly.  Before you realize its Friday again and you’re asking yourself “where has the week gone?”  It doesn’t seem that long ago we were celebrating the New Year and now its March.  In many ways for me that is a good thing.  By being busy doesn’t allow me to overly dwell on the past.  It’s having some quality time that is bothering me.   Life as a single parent is very different.  It has taken me a long time to adjust.  In fact it took the frantic Christmas period before it even dawned on me that I had reached a new status: single parent.

Now all I can hear are those phrases that Caroline would constantly use and I would let go over the top of my head thinking “whatever!”:

“I just don’t seem to stop”

“I am on the go all the time”.

“…this is a big house to run”

Back in the day all I had to worry about was going to work!  Trying to deal with what life throws at you on a daily basis is difficult enough when you’re a couple.  Now having to combine the domestic duties and balance a job is manic.  As a single parent I am flying by the seat of my pants.  Making it up as I go!

My car has become the office.  I’m just in my car so much.  So many people have commented “Paul are you ringing me from your car again?”  I’m always seem to be traveling to meetings, to the shops or picking Joe up.  When I eventually arrive somewhere I am scrambling on to my phone or laptop to find broadband access to catch up on emails and book the appointments I made whilst driving into the diary.  The real stress though comes when you eventually get home.

As soon as you step through that front door you’re on the household chore treadmill.  The oven, the washing machine, and the hoover are now my new best friends.  TV is now just background noise.    That laundry basket seems to magically fill up overnight.  I am now a proficient user of the washing machine: “programme 4”, put the washing liquid into the machine, press the “start” button, 57 minutes and off you go. 

Then I have to feed my hungry chicks.  As regular as clockwork at 5pm every evening they will appear chirping their hearts out waiting to be fed.  Just as well you’ve popped into the supermarket on the way home to do a “quick shop” for food for their tea.  Sixty quid later you’re wondering what you spent your money on after all you did a “big shop” over the weekend and spent £100.   Before you know it you’ve raided the freezer popped the food into the oven, served it to the chirping chicks that once they have eaten fly off and your now washing up.  What is this all about?

I’m lucky.  My children are 20 and 17.  The biggest use of my time at the moment is taking Joe to have around various Universities.  How a single parent copes when the kids are younger I just don’t know.  Taking them and fetching them from school, extra curriculum activity, school holidays etc etc.  Wow!

All this leaves very little quality time for yourself: get up, work, cook, go to bed; get up, work, cook, go to bed; get up…  You get the picture.

I have tried to do things to minmise the running about and manage my time a bit better, which has had some impact.  I have tried to utilize my own skills and new technology to make life easier:

·      Do the weekly shop online.  I use Sainsburys online which is easy to use but obviously there are others

·      I plan my meals a week in advance, which prevents me panicking everyday thinking about what’s for tea allowing you to schedule your meals.  Otherwise I am convinced we would be eating fish fingers and chips every night.  I’ve also started posting the meal planner online, much to the amusement of my kids and their mates.  A major benefit of doing so is that you won’t have the kids calling you everyday asking “whats for tea?”.

·      I have outsourced some of the household chores.  I am very fortunate to have inherited a fantastic “Ironing Lady”.  I drop scruffily folded clothes in an Ikea bag off one day and pick up crisply ironed clothes the next.  Magic!  It would take me hours and hours to iron clothes every week and the quality would not be anywhere near as good.  The best value for money for me bar none.

·      I do also treat myself each week.  Two cleaners come in every Tuesday to do a thorough surface clean.  Mop and vacuum the floors, dusting, clean the bathrooms etc.  Its brilliant.  Ironically, the kids and me are tidying the house on Monday nights to make it look nice for when the cleaners come around on Tuesday!  http://www.welcomehomecleaning.co.uk

I know that I haven’t cracked this time management conundrum yet and need to find a rhythm that works for my family.  I will keep trying.  Georgina being home has been a big help.  The next step is to train Joe to cook.  Well if I can do it anyone can J)