Read My Mind

“Without A Paddle” has now been going for a full year and has been so successful on so many levels.  Remarkably  “Without A Paddle” has been viewed over 15,000 times, is now running at over 1500 hits per month, nearly 2500 hits outside of the UK including a 1000 hits in the US. I don’t know anyone in the US.  I found the response quite overwhelming.  I can’t help but think “why are these people so interested?” I’m just so pleased they are.  The opportunity to write each week about the pathway the kids and I are taking on our journey has played such a big part in the healing process.  The fact that so many people want to “read my mind” is “mind blowing”.

If I’m honest the blog started as a way of informing Georgina and Joe what they were having for dinner that particular week.  Georgina and Joe thought that this was hilarious and would tell their mates that “Dad sends out a meal planner” and thought I was a bit eccentric.  As I inched along the pathway I thought there must be many Dads walking along their own pathway.  I wondered what these men were doing to survive, how were they coping, how did they feel?  When the woman of a family passes away the disruptive impact on family life and routine is immeasurable.  Many men, like me, have absolutely no idea where to start.  We find ourselves “up the creek….”.

“Without A Paddle” allows me to download some of my own grief and frustrations.  It also allows me to get my thoughts straight and out there.  It allows me to communicate to the kids, to my family and friends about what we’re up to.  It allows me to keep Caroline’s name alive and makes it easy for people to talk to the kids and me about Caroline.  By the way we love talking about Caroline.

What has happened since is quite incredible.  Interest in “Without A Paddle” has exploded beyond belief.  People tell me that they look forward to reading it every Monday; women have thanked me for the meal planner as they no longer have to think what to cook for the kids and actually helps them budget the grocery bill; people have emailed me about how they have similar feelings especially on the issue of loneliness.  The blog allows people to gain an insight into how an ordinary bloke deals with such an appalling situation.  Effectively it allows people to ‘read my mind’. It’s heartening to look back in black and white at what we have achieved and how far we have come.  Despite all this we still miss our leader.  There will always be the empty chair at dinner.  There will always be a sense of injustice.

I am healing.  I do smile.  I do laugh.  I remember the great times Caroline and I had with fondness.  I’m starting to find my mojo ie my new purpose in life.  I am planning a future. We stand tall and proud!  There’s no way we could have got this far without the incredible support of our friends and family.  “Without A Paddle” has extended the support network.  The interested created have encouraged me to keep writing and to take the readers on our journey and hopefully helping others along the way.

Thanks for being there

Paul

Ps  My anthem throughout this chapter of my life is The Killers song “Read My Mind”.  I love it!

 www.The Killers - Read My Mind   [not classroom nor office friendly]