Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Ok Fred!

You know what!  The World is becoming much clearer and life is starting to shape.  The fact that the basic foundations are falling into place allows you to start building towards a brighter future:  the fact that I am adjusting to working freelance has helped immensely; the kids are really enjoying University.  Joe’s Film course is absolutely fascinating touching on history, literature and people development.  Georgina tells me how she and the other students are so enthusiastic about the course that they are actually cheering at the end of the psychology lectures.  I am clear now that I will be moving after Christmas.  There are other impetus.  There seems to be a lot of bad news around especially with regard to people’s health.  Life is too short to dilly dally about!

For the past few weeks I have spoken about being quite calm.  In some ways it has felt a little eerie as I didn’t know why.  Since Caroline’s 50th birthday has passed I feel as though a weight has been lifted.  It’s really strange how your brain sub-conscientiously protects you and regulates your emotions.   I do feel much more comfortable with myself and happier.

However, life never allows you to be free of all concerns.  My Dad has been in hospital for six weeks and just had a triple heart bypass operation in the Bristol Heart Institute.   Dad only went in for a minor operation as a day patient but discovered that his blood pressure was through the roof.  After many tests the doctors described my dad as “a mystery and challenge”.  There was no need to carry out those tests to come up with that conclusion. I could have told them.  He’s been that all his life!  It was really strange to see him still under the affects of anaesethic and really out with the fairies.  So quiet!  For the first time in a very long, in fact ever, I wanted him to tell me one of his awful (and I mean awful) jokes.  When he has left hospital please don’t ever tell him I want to hear one of his jokes.  That moment is over!  Dad is now recovering and hopefully he will be out soon


So all these ingredients have spurred me on.  What is the point of hanging about?  I’m just determined to move on and take opportunities as they arise.  Start to plan ahead.  In many ways life is good.  I’m meeting new and interesting people almost daily.  I’m experiencing new challenges daily.  I have great friends and family.  I have great kids.  I have the memories of a beautiful and loving wife and soul mate.


If I am honest I have plenty of people to go out with but no one to share those little moments.  I have all these ideas about the future, about travelling etc but I don’t want to plough a single furrow.  I need a companion.  Ricey did a great job for three weeks when we went to Australia but long term he doesn’t quite fit the bill.  The next steps need a lot of thought.  Watch this space.

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