You know what! The World is becoming much clearer and life
is starting to shape. The fact that the
basic foundations are falling into place allows you to start building towards a
brighter future: the fact that I am adjusting
to working freelance has helped immensely; the kids are really enjoying
University. Joe’s Film course is
absolutely fascinating touching on history, literature and people development. Georgina tells me how she and the other students
are so enthusiastic about the course that they are actually cheering at the end
of the psychology lectures. I am clear
now that I will be moving after Christmas.
There are other impetus. There seems
to be a lot of bad news around especially with regard to people’s health. Life is too short to dilly dally about!
For the past few weeks I have
spoken about being quite calm. In some
ways it has felt a little eerie as I didn’t know why. Since Caroline’s 50th birthday has
passed I feel as though a weight has been lifted. It’s really strange how your brain sub-conscientiously
protects you and regulates your emotions.
I do feel much more comfortable with myself and happier.
However, life never allows you to
be free of all concerns. My Dad has been
in hospital for six weeks and just had a triple heart bypass operation in the
Bristol Heart Institute. Dad only went in for a minor operation as a
day patient but discovered that his blood pressure was through the roof. After many tests the doctors described my dad
as “a mystery and challenge”. There was
no need to carry out those tests to come up with that conclusion. I could have
told them. He’s been that all his life! It was really strange to see him still under
the affects of anaesethic and really out with the fairies. So quiet!
For the first time in a very long, in fact ever, I wanted him to tell me
one of his awful (and I mean awful) jokes.
When he has left hospital please don’t ever tell him I want to hear one
of his jokes. That moment is over! Dad is now recovering and hopefully he will
be out soon
So all these ingredients have
spurred me on. What is the point of
hanging about? I’m just determined to
move on and take opportunities as they arise.
Start to plan ahead. In many ways
life is good. I’m meeting new and
interesting people almost daily. I’m
experiencing new challenges daily. I
have great friends and family. I have
great kids. I have the memories of a
beautiful and loving wife and soul mate.
If I am honest I have plenty of
people to go out with but no one to share those little moments. I have all these ideas about the future,
about travelling etc but I don’t want to plough a single furrow. I need a companion. Ricey did a great job for three weeks when we
went to Australia but long term he doesn’t quite fit the bill. The next steps need a lot of thought. Watch this space.
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