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| Caroline and me (18 years old) |
I am about to take the biggest and
hardest step on my journey. I would like
to find a new companion!
You cannot believe how difficult a
decision this step has been. There are
so many factors and feelings to consider especially those of Georgina and Joes. For so long I have felt guilty and sad about
enjoying myself because of the injustice that had happened to Caroline. I have wrestled with this conundrum for some
time. However, the feeling of spending
large parts of the past 18 months alone and the overriding urge to just to be
happy have led me to take the plunge. There was never going to be a good time
to take this step
No one could ever question my love
for Caroline. Caroline will always be a
huge part of my life. I still feel as though I am the guardian of her memory
and all that was good about her. For as long as I have breath Caroline will
never be forgotten. But I got to take
the next big step for my own sanity.
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| Simon, Pete, me and Caroline |
Now lets set some expectations. It’s a long time since I had to even think
about this sort of thing. In fact I was
only 16 when I met Caroline when a student and had an early morning job as a paper
boy. Life was a lot less complicated and carefree back then. In April I am 50. In 15 years time I am eligible for a bus
pass. In 20 years I might not even
remember my name!
Prospective companions will have
all kinds of issues and responsibilities:
kids, ex-partners, dogs, horses, houses, circle of friends, financial
issues etc etc. Therefore engaging with the
“Venus” half of the population is not going to be straightforward.
I need to make sure that when I do
meet someone for the first time I don’t make it sound like an interview:
“Tell me about you last job”
“How do you respond to change?”
“Have you got any references?”
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| Rich, Caroline and me |
“What can you do for my organisation”
“You will be going through an
assessment centre including psychometric testing”
“I would like you to prepare a 15
minute presentation on “why you are the right person for the job” and
afterwards there will be a panel interview”
Just can’t see it working somehow.
Then there’s where does a 50 year
old go to meet people of a similar age?
I have been out a few times with mates and stuff. It’s so scary. Whatever happens I won’t be going to “Reflex”
in Bristol.
I have no expectations nor idea of
what’s going to happen. I’m fairly
chilled about it all really and in no rush to make any lasting relationships. Just want to meet some new people and enjoy
myself. What’s the worst thing that can happen?
I make some new friends.
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| Me |
In many ways I am a very lucky
person. I have lots of people to go out
with. But now no one to do the simple things
in life with like go to the pub, watch a band on a Wednesday night, moan about
the weather, plan future adventures etc.
You all know who my first second, third … choice would be. Tragically that’s not possible. Here goes!
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