The Wheels on the Bus…

Since taking the right angle turn the ‘bus of life’ has been accelerating at pace.  In fact so much so I have parked up just to take stock of where we are and where we’re going. Theres a need to re-fuel and to put some air into the tyres.  In true Paul Watson fashion I have set off at a 100 mph flat out trying to solve all my issues in one go.  I so want 2014 to be the year of change.  I just don’t want to hang around anymore.  As I have said on many occasions the past three years have been so tragic.  I now want to re-build some foundations in my own life.  By the end of the year I fully expect to have moved home, changed my car, to be flowing in my work, kids to be in their second year of Uni, solved world hunger etc etc.  Then there’s possibly a new relationship.  Well we will see!  Most of all I want to be smiling and happy with my friends and family.

Moving at this pace trying to shape my future however as consequences.  And not always good.  For a start I am trying to do so much that I keep running out of time to even complete the simplest of tasks like opening the post.  Crazy!  I become very frustrated and confused.  What makes it worse is that I have no one alongside me to share the ideas with.  Even just to listen to me and nodding in the right places.  One of the reasons Caroline and I were so good together is that we could share ideas together and Caroline was always straight with me.  During our time I got the full range of answers from “yes go for it” to “you got to be joking” to “you are so stupid”.   Luckily I have had a lot of people around only too willing to provide advice and opinions when I have asked for it.   But I do miss that unspoken acceptance and re-assurance that you get when you’re in a good relationship.

I also want to make sure that all those close to me and the children are on the journey.  It’s great that I have so many new passengers on my bus all sending me messages of encouragement.  Its very overwhelming.  However, the journey can only made with those who have supported me and the kids especially over the past three years.  Emotionally you don’t want anyone wanting to get off the bus or feel they’ve been left behind.   I want everyone on the journey…

Problem with this journey there isn’t a map.  SatNav is knackered!   There is no end destination.  We don’t even know where the ups and downs are going to be.  All we know that there are going to be plenty bumps in the road.  Actually on parts of the journey there isn’t even a road built yet.

Guess I’m just in a hurry to get to the top of this hill.  Once at the top I just want to look out for miles in front of me and get a view of where I could go.  And always having the ability to look behind me and to fondly gaze into the past. Reflect! Remember! Reminisce!  But I have made my mind up.  The bus is going forward.  There is no going backwards.  So we have all stretched our legs now and its time to make ourselves comfortable for the next stage of the journey.  Make sure you all fasten your seatbelts.

“The wheels on the bus go round and round…”