Women tell me “… its more painful than child birth”

10 Things You Need to Know About Gallstones

1.    That’s right!  Women everywhere are telling me that when gallstones are in spasm the pain is worse than that of childbirth.  Well ok at least two women have told me this.  But there is no denying it the pain is probably the worse anyone can experience and is known as biliary colic.

Before actually being diagnosed I had no idea what gallstones were and wouldn’t have shown much sympathy for anyone who had them.  Now it’s different.  The pain is typically a steady gripping or gnawing pain in the upper right abdomen near the rib cage, which can be severe and can radiate to the upper back.  No matter what painkillers you take or position you lay in there is no relief.  Gas and air wont even touch it.  It’s the worse! 

2.   So what are gallstones?   Gallstones are lumps of solid material that form in the gallbladder - the reservoir for bile. Most are the size of peas, but they can be as large as pebbles. In my case I think it was from taking Caroline out for “afternoon tea” and too many “Frappuccino’s” at Starbucks whist on compassionate leave.  If that’s the reason then the pain is worth it.  Just!

3.    Gallstones are common among:

•  Overweight / obese people and is a major risk factor especially in women.

• Oestrogen 
excess from pregnancy, hormone replacement therapy, or birth control pills

•   Women are twice as likely to develop gallstones than men.

•   People over 60 are more likely to develop gallstones than younger people.

•   Takers of cholesterol-lowering drugs can actually increase the amount of cholesterol secreted in bile.

•   People with diabetes generally have high levels of fatty acids,

•   Rapid weight loss.  Fasting
 decreases gallbladder movement, which causes the bile to become over-concentrated with cholesterol.

•  Ethnicity 
Native Americans have the highest rates of gallstones in the US.

So there you have it.  Not sure where I fit in to this cross section.  Perhaps I will ask my father, Fred “Two Dogs” Watson if we have any Native American descendency.

4.     So is it serious or is it a case of just enduring it?  Well if you’re on NHS then in my experience you have to see your Doctor, ask for a diagnosis and then you have to wait your turn. So you need to be careful about what you eat and drink.  However, there are some serious conditions that you should get medical advice immediately.  If the conditions persist you should keep returning to your doctor for further diagnosis until he takes notice.

Gallstones that obstruct bile ducts can lead to a severe or life-threatening infection of the bile ducts, pancreas, or liver.  In my case I developed pancreatitis ending up in hospital for three nights.  Have to say a very scary experience in which I was awoken in the early hours with tubes coming out of a part of my body that will bring tears to every mans’ eyes.   What was worse the nursing staff couldn’t remove the tube eventually resorting to a 12 inch long piece of wire and a lot of nerve on my part. 

5.    So if you’re diagnosed with gallstones how do you control it?  The recommendation made to me once diagnosed was to have the gallbladder removed.  Apparently, you can function perfectly without it.  Begs the question “why have you got one?”. But hey ho!  Until you have that operation though you must avoid large or fatty meals which can trigger the pain, but it usually occurs several hours after eating and will often awake you during the night.  Eating a low-fat diet and maintaining an ideal weight may help to prevent the gallstones going into spasm.  Avoid sugary foods such as cakes, biscuits, and chocolates.  As my consultant told me “if your food looks fun you cant have it”      

On a positive note eating low fat meals you start to learn good eating habits and can lose excess weight relatively easily.  I now eat much more fish, chicken and vegetables than I ever have whilst cutting right down on red meat, cheese, full fat milk and cake.  Please do not repeat the mistake I made. By eating a piece of carrot cake believing it to be “healthy” Doh!  I certainly paid for that mistake.

6.     Can you drink alcohol?  The medical advice given to me was that it was ok to drink alcohol.  However, in hindsight I think this was a mistake and wish I now that I hadn’t.  I did seem to have attacks following drinking and later discovered that I had developed pancreatitis.  Studies have shown that acute pancreatitis occurs because alcohol acts as a stimulant for the pancreas to produce fatty acids and other fatty substances. These substances can destroy cells and stop energy production in the pancreas.  Very serious which needs urgent medical attention

7.    What is the treatment for gallstones.  I opted for the removal of the gallbladder using keyhole surgery.  After the operation there is some pain in the stomach muscles but controllable with prescribed painkillers.  Don’t under-estimate how much the operation will take out of you.  Due to the anesthetics you will not be able to drive for a few days, recovery time is about two weeks and no heavy lifting for 6 weeks. 

There are other ways to tackle the issue and some people even choose not to have the gallbladder out. 

8. Can you prevent gallstones?  Low vegetarian diets will minimize the chances of getting gallstones as will controlling your weight.  But you have to live a bit too!

9.    For more information use these web pages.

What are gallstones

Pancreatitis

What can I eat?

10. Take medical advice.  These notes are just my own ramblings.  Always take professional medical advice.  Mostly, do not under estimate the seriousness of gallstones!

Watson's Meal Planner Wc 22nd October

Monday

Chicken fajitas

Tuesday

Spaghetti bolognese

Wednesday 

Dad: Salmon, ginger and chilli fishcakes with new potatoes

Joe: Turkey dinosaurs, pasta and peas

Thursday

Fish fingers, chip and beans

Friday

Jambalaya

Saturday

Falmouth Uni - Eat out

Sunday

Spanish stew

Three Months On (14th October 2012)

Wow!  My world is now so strange, weird and at times numb.  Caroline's passing still casts a shadow over our lives and I don't expect this ever to change.  How can it?  How can someone who I cherished so much and shared so much with be no longer part of my physical life.  Consequently, I have become very spiritual in order to believe that I am still connected to Caroline.  I believe that Caroline is looking down on me and kids, in fact everyone who was important to her and still guiding and directing us like she always did.

Despite my anger, frustration and lows I'm relieved that Caroline is no longer suffering.  As anyone who has been through a similar ordeal will tell you that it is unbearable to watch loved ones in such discomfort.  I'm just angry that this nasty disease, cancer, affected Caroline at all.  Caroline was too good a person to suffer.  I will love her forever.

As a family we are moving forward.  I am so relieved that Georgina has settled so well at Cardiff University.  Georgina has made so many new friends who have been so comforting when she needs a shoulder to cry on.  We are so proud!

Joe.  He has matured so much over the past months.  He and Caroline were / are so in tune with one another.  The way Joe has conducted himself has been breathtaking.   Joe has also taken his next big step.  Watch out world. Yes Joe has just taken his first driving lessons.

Our family and friends have been, and continue to be, amazing. There is no doubt that without them Georgina, Joe and me would never have got through.  For this I will never forget. I ask myself "could I have ever been as kind and considerate as them?"

We are hopeful for the future and will rebuild our lives.  No major decisions for at least a year. We will have some fun and laughs. However, we will never forget the person who made it all possible. Caroline Louise Watson aged 48

Top 10 tips for going on holiday as a single dad

1. Wherever you end up and whoever you go with, you must have the mindset that you are going to enjoy yourself.

2. See if you can tag along with friends. At least then you have some company to enjoy your time with.  Plus you wont look like “Johnny No Mates”.  If they are good mates then will have some empathy with your emotional state

3. Be aware of the additional charges when booking flights. I was amazed when I had to pay £30 to check in a bag. And this was 50% online discount rate.  Share a suitcase with the kids or even pack carry-on bags

4.  Make sure you don't look like a geek on the beach.  Hairy backs don't cut it. Treat yourself to a haircut or even some male grooming http://bespokemalegrooming.com

5. DON'T pack the Speedos. Unless you've got the body of Adonis, Speedos will give the impression you're on some police list.  A quick trip to the local shopping mall should sort you out.  House of Fraser seemed to be having continuous Sales so you can get kitted for not too much of the folding stuff. http://www.houseoffraser.co.uk

6.  Drown yourself in your favourite tipple. Bombay Sapphire and tonic will get a right seeing to when I'm away!  

7. If hiring a car always check the small print.  What they tell you at the desk doesn't always get transmitted to the agreement. I always get caught out on the petrol.

8. Sitting by the beach, chillaxing and watching the world go by will allow you to relax.  Also give you time to reflect and give you space to starting your future.

9. Treat your friends. They probably have had to put up with babbling all week, leaving your clothes everywhere and not putting the top on the toothpaste . Treat them to a nice meal as way of saying thank you.

10.  Worth repeating number 1…make sure you enjoy yourself!

One Day At A Time (12th August 2012)

How can life be so dramatically different from one day to another?  Yesterday I was full of energy and couldn't wait for my forthcoming holiday.  I actually started believing in the future. Today, my feelings couldn't be more different.  Lethargic, lonely and low esteem.  Not sure what’s brought on the change. Is it the ending of the Olympics that has brought so much comfort over the past two weeks? The lull after the high of being around close family to celebrate mum and dad’s 50th wedding anniversary?  Or is this it? Is all that  I’ve got to look forward to is this numb feeling and the grieving process - whatever that is?

Whatever it is I know I can’t stop missing my lovely departed wife who passed away 4 weeks ago.  Caroline used to fill all of these gaps in time and more.  Now she's gone.  I'm now a single parent family.  Worse than that, I am a single dad. Rudderless! Caroline, I suspect like so many wives, used to do everything. Cook, see to the children, pay the bills, clean... Head cook and bottle washer! Now it's all down to me.  How scary is that?  How scary is that to my family?

As Caroline's illness and suffering was prolonged, I have had some time to hone some cooking skills under her direction. Actually, I'm not too bad now and can knock up some dishes. Not bad for a bloke who use to burn water.  Actually, I’m quite organised now.  Much to their amusement the kids get a meal planner emailed to them setting out their evening meal for the following week.   "Can't believe dad sends me an email telling me what I'm going to have for tea. My friends all think it's funny". They just think I'm a bit eccentric.  It’s a short week next week because we're off on holiday so just clearing down the freezer.

Amazingly I can now work the washing machine. You have to be a genius to understand the instructions provided.  I've decided that everything is washed on programme 4 with a measure of washing liquid.  It seems to have worked up to now.

Tonight is Mexican night.  The kids have invited their mates around for a Mexican meal.  They're all sat in the garden knocking back tequila. I love the fact there is laughter and happiness in the home.  Georgina and Joe have been through a lot over the past months and since Caroline's passing their friends have been magnificent.

I’m hoping that my lethargy is down to it being a Sunday. The weekends can be long and sometimes lonely.  Let's hope tomorrow is a better day.

The most incredible day for the Watsons but.... (16th August 2012)

It was the day that the Watson family had been looking forward to for a very long time.  It was not only the day Georgina would receive her A level results and confirmation that she had in fact got her place at Cardiff University.  It was also the day she would start inter-railing around Europe with her friends.  Even more than this Joe would receive his A/S level results allowing Caroline and I to really gauge how far he had advanced.  A big day for the family.  We were looking forward to 16th August.



However, since Caroline's passing in July it was the first occasion that I anticipated with dread.  Even if everything turned out positive I knew it would there would be a feeling of bittersweet.  

Georgina was heading off across Europe at an early hour so I would be left to sort out exam results and confirmation of university place and accommodation. Caroline had been dealing with Georgina all the way through the UCAS process and all that mother daughter stuff that goes on without any knowledge on my part.  It was the next milestone in my journey of adaptation to being a single parent family and my domestication.



The day didn't start too well.  Georgina had missed her alarm for 3am and burst into my room at 4am "my alarm hasn't gone off, what am I going to do about my hair? I haven't got time!  What am I going to do?"


I couldn't help but think this would have never happened under Caroline's regime.
"What do you want to do?" I replied helpfully.


"I want to do my hair but I haven't got time" was the sharp riposte.

"Well actually you have quite a lot of time until the plane takes off at 7:10.  Just text your friends and let them know we're going to be 20 minutes later".


"20 minutes!  I need at least 30 minutes!".


What do I know about girls’ hair?  What do i know about hair?



Eventually we were on our way picking up her 3 friends en-route.  There was a lot of excitement in the car, I couldn't believe that these young women had grown up so much and were venturing so far.  It only seemed like yesterday when Caroline and I had taken them to Alfas, Spain and allowing them to buy drinks in some bars in Benidorm one evening.  Wow. How times were changing.  Georgina was additionally hyper as she was giving me instructions on how to log into the UCAS and Cardiff University websites.  She just couldn't wait to receive those exam results.

 

We reached Bristol Airport in plenty of time despite the earlier panics and last minute organisation.  They were flying to Nice to start their first leg of the expedition.  I felt excited for them, looking at Georgina she had matured so much in the past two years.  Caroline and i were, are, so proud of her.  I gave her a great big hug and waved her off.  As I drove off a wave of emotion surged over me.  I burst into tears.  I felt helpless.  I felt as though my family was breaking up in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could do.  



The alarm woke me at 7:30.  I had managed to grab a couple of hour’s kip since the airport run.  It was now time to make the short journey to the school.  When I arrived there was already a queue of nervously waiting students outside the sports hall, all of them chatting with anxiety and anticipation of what this all meant.  Some were getting notification from University of their places using their smartphones.  Tears and hugs were being dished out.  The doors finally opened and the excitement was  tangible.

  Very soon I was at the front of the queue.


"Georgina Watson" I said as I handed over my authorisation letter to the teacher.


I noticed briefly that Joe’s envelope was in the same box.  I was tempted to ask for his results, however, I was under strict instructions not to collect them as he wanted to do it privately.
  The teacher handed Georgina's results.  I opened the envelope.  I looked down.  
Maths B. Psychology A. Chemistry, the big one, A.  She had done it. 2As and a B.  She had met the entry requirements of Cardiff University to read Chemistry.  This was one of the most amazing moment in my family and here I was alone.

I sat in the car texting Georgina.  I could barely see the screen on my phone as tears had properly taken hold.  I was crying my heart out.

I managed to get home.  Joe then turned up in the kitchen to tell me he was off to make his way to the school to meet his mates. I wished him good luck and off he went. 

I sat in the living room looking out to the garden in a daze. I told myself "sort yourself out and to let others know of Georgina achievements".

  Once I had spoken to my mother and text close family and friends the phone rang.  It was Georgina. She was delighted with her results. She had also received a text from her cousin Charlotte informing her that she had done enough to get a place at Cardiff University too.  Double celebration!  



Within minutes I received a text minute from my son Joe.  It read as follows "got an A in Media Studies. This is awesome.  I got Ds in the others which are passes so don't kill me".


Kill him?  It couldn't be further from what I was feeling, I was so proud.  I couldn't help thinking "where is his mother?". She would be so pleased and proud and would be crying her eyes out - I would have to be the strong one.  Instead I was a mess.  Just so proud but missing Caroline so much.  

I called Joe.

"Joe I am so proud well done mate".
"Really? ". He was obviously surprised by my reaction. 
"Of course the results are brilliant.  The A is phenomenal and in the right subject for University.  And I know you have it in you to turn those Ds into Bs and Cs. Brilliant.  A good day for the Watson’s".


"Cheers Dad.  I'm off with my mates now. See you later".


"Ok son. Love you".


"Love you too Dad".



Wow what a day and it was not even 10 o'clock.  Better make some calls and send more texts to let everyone know how Joe had done.  Also call Teri to give my congratulations on cousin’s Charlotte’s results.  Teri had offered to take Georgina to Ikea to do their university shopping.

  Teri and I were in bits. Both crying down the phone agreeing on how Caroline would have loved today.

It was just a constant thought that would not go away.  

I tried to enter the Cardiff University page but it was under extreme pressure using the opportunity for another well-timed cup of Earl Grey.  I took a moment to chill for a minute, sort myself out and read the congratulatory text message replies I had received.  I was so proud but so frustrated.   There was quite a backlog.

  As I worked through them I couldn't help but notice one from Amanda P.  I hadn't expected it but she was always asking how the kids were doing as she had had a similar experience to them in her own early age. 

Her text read  
"We've [the lottery syndicate] have won £13000 each x".
  My head exploded.  I couldn't help but think back to the time our numbers had come up 12 years ago but we didn't do it on Wednesday!  I needed more information


"Mandy its Paul.  What do you mean we won the lottery?  Have you typed in too many naughts?"


"No"


"If you tell me we still don't do it on a Wednesday or it's a wind up I will kill you"


"It's true. Have you seen Viv's email?"


"No! I will call you back"


As much as I trusted Mandy I had to be sure.
I logged into Hotmail. Sure enough I had received an email from Viv which had a as subject "WIN!!!

It went on to instruct you to open the attachment.  I duly carried out these instructions to find the online notification from Camelot that we had 4 numbers on one line winning £77 and 5 numbers and the bonus on another winning £133,617


"Fuck me it was true". I was just dancing around the house. £13000.  Fuck me!  Again I couldn't help but think that Caroline would be bursting by this point.  This was the best and worst day of my life.  Caroline was the eternal optimist.  She liked getting a Lucky Dip from time to time because "you have to be init to win it Paul".
  All the time we were together she would do "spot the ball", the Grand National".  Where was she? This world is so cruel. One more month and she would have experienced all of this.



I called Mandy, I could hardly talk.  She was crying.  Mandy absolutely adored Caroline. I had to cut the call short. This was an amazing day. I emailed Viv telling her well done. By this time the other syndicate members were sending their own expletives.  Incredible. This was the "Finance Team" lottery syndicate and it couldn't have happened to nicer people

.  I quickly made my mind up that I would take the people who had supported Caroline, me and the kids over the past 18 months out for dinner as a "thank you". I then began to call them individually to let them know the news.

The first one to get the news was Georgina who by now had settled nicely in Nice.


"Hi Dad"


"George are you sat down?",


"Yes. What's up?"


"Well I want you to take your friends out tonight into Nice.  Buy them a really nice meal and have some drinks. I will pay"

"Why?" she asked inquisitively,


"Cos I have gone and won the bloody lottery"


“Oh my god” Georgina screamed down the phone. Georgina went mental. “I love you dad, I love you!"



After letting everyone know my good fortune I was emotionally drained. I couldn't stop crying.  The kids had made me a really proud parent and I won the bloody lottery. Today would have been the best day ever but how could it be?  Caroline wasn't here to share the Watson's good fortune.  Perhaps she was "upstairs" pulling the strings and pressing the buttons.  I am sure Caroline is looking after us!