A Certain Romance

With it fast approaching Valentine’s Day it’s got me reflecting on how I first met Caroline and how the world of romance is fulfilled nowadays through social media.   Compared to “back in the day” the world is such a different place that I find it so ironic and humorous.

You have to remember that when I first started “courting” Caroline we probably had just passed the era when the boy took the girls mother a box of chocolates and the father was asking you “can you keep my daughter in the manner she has become accustomed”.  Asking youngsters what they think “courting” is and you will probably receive the answer that its something to do with being sentenced to jail whilst standing in front of a judge.

Basically now the phrase “going out on a date” does not exist.  You don’t even need to go on one with the advent of social media.  You can apparently “date” someone from the comfort of your own homes.  Apparently a text conversation counts as a sort of a date.  All the awkwardness of a date has disappeared – the iffy chat up line like “do you come here often”, the risk of a rejection, knowing when to call, meeting the parents – have almost all gone.

Of course the downside is when it goes wrong.  Being de-friended on “facebook” can be the ultimate humiliation.  Plus when you do finally sit down with someone they know all about you and that journey of discovery is just lost.  And then you have actually got to talk to someone!

Dating Back In The Day	Dating Today
·   Wanna go outside?	· Wanna take this to BBM [Blackberry Messenger]
· Landline phone number written on back of hand	·   “Find me on Facebook”
·   Walk of Shame	·   #bedofshame
·   Regrettable lovebite	·   Regrettable sext
· Seeing your partner snogging another person	· Seeing a Twitpic of partner with another person
·  Lets go to a disco	·   Blendr.com
·  Bumping into your ex in the post office	· Bumping into your ex on Badoo

I’m sure that chivalry and old-fashioned dating will never fully disappear. The Internet cannot find love on its own and it certainly can’t hold on to it either.  The early days, months even years when Caroline and I were “courting” were the best of our lives and ones that we cherished and often talked about.  Could those days ever be repeated?  Of course not.  All relationships are unique and individual to that couple.  They cannot be compared.

Anyway its far too early for me to even to think of getting to a stage of “hooking up” seriously with another person.  However, the fact that I haven’t met someone already surprised one person.

Over the past couple of months I have been attending a therapy group.  The group consisted of me, being the only male, and seven ladies most of whom were, lets say, of an older generation. The sessions we held were vey heartfelt, as you can imagine, and we were very open about our feelings.  In fairness there was much humour too.  At our final session the conversation turned to future relationships.  Part way through the discussion one of the ladies, who shall remain nameless, looks at me and says

“I bet you got women banging on your front door all the time”

“Oh!” sounding a bit surprised. “Well I’m sorry to disappoint you but that is very much not the case”

“Oh that surprises me”

“Why do you think there would be a queue of women knocking on my door”

“Yes why are you surprised” echoed the other ladies

At this point I was waiting for the answer “well you’re charming, intelligent, good looking”.  No.  The answer I received was

“Well you hear about those women who want to date people on death row.  You know what I mean”

Well you could have blown me over.  I just started laughing. I knew her well enough to know she didn’t mean any harm and I could see the funny side.  Just to be clear I certainly don’t feel as though I am on death row and see a life in front of me. 

Anyway I wish all you couples out there a very romantic Valentines Day.  Me! What am I going to do?  Well  I hear that the new Die Hard film is out on Thursday so I might go to the pictures, sorry the movies!